A Journal Entry by Mike
by Girl U. Dontno
Summary: Mike writes about his disorder and secretly bizarre past. post episode 3 of TDRI. NoCo-based, Noah Cody Mike, possibly AU


**_DISCLAIMERS:_  
-ALTERNATE CHARACTER INTERPRETATION  
-NOCO-BASED  
-NOAH + CODY = MIKE  
-TIME TRAVEL  
-MOFO TELEPORTING NECKLACES, YO!  
-POSSIBLE AU?**

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**Author's Note:**

Here you are, Total Drama fandom. This is my gift to you. For all those endless nights of watching fanvids and some of my very first fangirl spasms, I give you this: the fic I've been working on since before the show even aired in the states. I have no idea how readers are going to receive this, but for the sake of imagination, I hope you all enjoy!

Shout-out to the lovely miss _h__eartintheskyscrapers_ on tumblr for helping me out with the idea.

It should be noted that this fic is written from the POV of Mike in a journal entry post Episode 3: Ice Ice Baby.

Get set.

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**"A Journal Entry by Mike"**

I know I probably shouldn't be writing about this, but I need some way to express my situation. I can't just keep it locked up inside of me, and knowing myself, it's most likely for the best if I do this.

In case you need an introduction: Hi. My name's Mike, and I've recently traveled back in time. Depending on what point in the universal timeline you're reading this, that statement's ridiculousness may vary. I plan to travel back to my original time with this notebook in hand, but really, who knows what'll happen to it along the way.

So far, so good. At least I think no one's suspecting that I'm from a different time period. Of course, you'd be wondering how and why this whole thing came to be. Remember that old reality tv show Total Drama Revenge of the Island? Then you should know of me. Though I highly doubt you know the whole story of where I came from, who my parents are, and why I have the little quirk that I do. It may be shocking, and I'm not sure if you should keep reading, but do as you wish.

I was born the offspring of 2 male contestants of the old reality tv show, Total Drama Island. Technology has advanced significantly in the past decade-and-a-half, and surrogate mothers for gay parents were the thing every biologist was talking about. They investigated like crazy to come up with a sure-fire way to make a child like me possible. I was born from the DNA of two men, which is seen as nearly impossible in the time I am currently in.

My parents' first names are Cody and Noah, and were in their mid-30s when I left them. They're both pretty short so I have no idea where my height came from. I'm nearly taller than them already. It must have something to do with my birth mother. They once mentioned that a special friend of Cody's carried me. Or maybe it's just a gene flowing through the family that never got passed on to my parents.

Unfortunately, the subject matter of gay parents is still new in my own time, and people have had the hardest time adjusting to it. So I used to get beaten up on when I was younger by the kids at school. Before the bullying, I was the most popular guy in the Drama Club. Everyone loved watching me do my array of different characters, and I was happy. I fed off of the positive attention like my life depended on it.

I never really told anyone that my parents were both men. I didn't feel the need to. So when they came in to school with me one day, people were shocked. I didn't realize it was still thought of as wrong. From then on, I started getting bullied frequently, or at the very least, seen differently. They made jokes about how a boy of gay parents was, of course, one of the best in the Drama Club. The sudden switch from positive attention to negative attention made me want to drown my school in tears. Cody would try to comfort me when I came home crying, but it wasn't enough. Once people knew, they couldn't stop shunning me. It was going on for years. I was going through trauma, and eventually something in my brain just snapped. My subconscious mind was so extremely desperate to be liked again, and the only way it knew how was to act. And so my Multiple Personality Disorder was activated, so says my psychiatrist. I'd suddenly become one of my original characters out of the blue, and be totally numb to the situation afterwards. The memories would never come back to me, and I'd never know what I did unless I asked. My most reoccurring personalities were my most popular characters.

When my dads noticed this for the first time, they thought I was joking, but soon enough found that there was definitely something wrong with me. So they put me on medication and scheduled appointments with a psychiatrist to try to cure me. She told us that we were lucky my MPD wasn't a severe case, but it was going to be difficult to fix the disorder completely since I was still caught in the middle of school where it all started. I was only 13 years old in the 7th Grade when we started treating it so I had a while more to go. I also have a specific numbness to my alters that not many other people do, which she said was fine since everyone's different. Although it gets to be stressful when I can only communicate with them in my sleep. I mean, I can hear faint voices from time to time, but there's really nothing I can do to get their attention when I'm awake. And even when I'm not, we don't get along. None of them really care about me or my life. Which is made worse considering they control a part of it.

I ask myself, of all people, why did it have to be me? A lot of kids get bullied, but they usually get depressed or suicidal or something! They don't split into a jumble of different people! I hate that this happened to me. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! Darn'd kids and their rough'n'up nature! Why I oughta get my whippin' belt out right now! Naughty children like them's deserve to learn their lesson, I say!

...Did I just write that? Sorry, that was Chester. He jumps out of me from time to time. I'm lucky it's night and everyone in my cabin is asleep, or this journal would be a mess of conflicting views. My personalities tend to lay low when there's nothing going on to trigger them.

As you can probably tell, switching in and out of character is not always the best way to keep friends. The few friends I still had after the big reveal slowly walked away when I started to creep them out with my "performances". I never told them about my disorder. I could never.

On the bright side, I'd begun to ignore those who looked at me funny, and I'd been sticking up for myself more. Surprisingly, I've actually benefitted from all those cramped up psychotherapy appointments had to offer. I've been to a few different therapists in my life, but my favorite has been a woman named Jacquel. She's the one who taught me how to smile again after all those sad times. Now at least I can keep from looking like a total freak. Part of the reason I'm writing right now is because of her advice. But even as my confidence issues are lifting, my MPD is still here. Sometimes I worry it will never go away. It's frightening knowing that my multiple personalities could end up ruining my entire life some day.

All I wanted was an escape where I could start over. So I went for one.

My dads would always tell me about their experiences on Camp Wawanakwa. How they were always those two dorks on the show, how they made friendships with people just as awkward as them, and how they subconsciously snuggled up to each other in their sleeps. They told me of psycho hose beasts, princesses, rebels, athletes, and all that good stuff. They still have pictures too. I was envious that they were given a chance to bond with such a diverse group of people. Most kids at my school are alienated into a tight knit by pop culture, so there aren't too many oddballs in the class other than me.

Even if Noah didn't completely get along with the other campers, he still thinks of Total Drama as being a remarkable event in his life. Because, without the show, he wouldn't ever have met his life-long lover and my second father.

I needed to get out of my boring, frustrating, depressed life, and fast. But Total Drama was cancelled such a long time ago. There was only one way I could ever get on, and that way was both selfish and dangerous. Ignoring the complications, I was willing to take a chance for my own good.

When my school took a field trip to a Science Museum, I knew exactly what to do. I snuck passed the guards surprisingly easily and hopped into the time machine exhibit. It's one of society's greatest scientific inventions where I come from. It wasn't much roomier than a cardboard box, so my limbs had to bend and cramp up to fit everything inside. There were buttons and screens of all shapes and sizes and colors lighting up the insides of the dark, black box. I wouldn't have known how to operate it if I hadn't read up ahead of time. The red buttons were to select the year. The map on the touch screen was to choose the location. I made a few other alterations before I strapped myself in. Time travel is not safe business. Especially amateur time travel.

I was going back to be on the show. I knew that I couldn't go back so far that I was in the original 22 because all that would do would cause problems with my parents when they were younger. (If I ever meet them here, where I am now, I'm going to have to be careful not to say the wrong things.) No, I was going back to a time a few years later, when Season 4 was just starting. It was time for an all-new cast, and Chris McLean, the host, dubbed it Revenge of the Island. I figured that was the smartest one to go with.

A short string-like material emerged out of the black works in front of me, just long enough to hook around my neck. I don't know a thing about what it's made of or what makes it work, but I knew what to do with it. It's actually the most vital part of this trip. The necklace has a transportation button built into the snap that brings you back when it's pressed down enough. Wouldn't want to lose that.

To keep people from becoming suspicious and to keep it safe, I tucked it into my turtleneck shirt where I hoped it would stay out of sight. Oddly, now it seems to have some sort of gold pendant attached to it. I assume Vito must have added his own flare to it, but I haven't thought to ask him yet. Maybe I'll mention it to him later tonight. In the end, I guess it's no harm done as long as I can still use it.

I put on light-shielding glasses, clutched the necklace string as I was supposed to, and prepared for the worst in that black box. It wasn't even an official working invention. It was a prototype. Meaning it could've malfunctioned horribly and killed me in various ways. I could have ended up somewhere in outer space and suffocated. I could have been blinded by the light intensity. I could have disappeared completely. But I didn't.

I saw a quick flash of light, almost as bright as the sun, and then I was in the middle of a vacant room in the year 2012.

From there, things ran pretty smoothly. I thought when making an audition video you should emphasize your special abilities and talents, but something tells me that's not what got me accepted.

...

Well, here I am, world. I'm here competing in Total Drama, just like my parents did when they were my age. My MPD is hard enough to handle in the present, and now I've chosen to handle it in the past. How stupid is that?

Anyway, I did this to meet new people and nothing more. It feels like I'm back in the 3rd grade when no one had the urge to push me around or say mean things... That's good enough for me. And so far, there's this one girl that I really like. But... I've never seen her in any of the pictures before. Which I admit is strange since most of the others seem to all be here. But I don't care. She's beautiful. I haven't stopped smiling since I got on the boat. The way she speaks to me is kind and gentle, which is a refreshing change from the way my classmates usually treated me. My little interest in winning has already been completely drowned out by her. Have I found my someone here on this island just as my parents did? The thought alone sends butterflies rushing through me! I can only hope that my multiple personality disorder doesn't drive her away as well. My alters have already come out to play a part in a couple challenges, and it's only been a few days into the show. I thought I'd grown numb to the embarrassment, but I guess not. I'll try to hide it the best I can, but I can't tell her. I can't tell anyone. No one can know.

They'd think I was a freak.


End file.
